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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23334202">Intermediate to Advanced Love</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/alisonlynn/pseuds/alisonlynn'>alisonlynn</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Tarot Sequence - K.D. Edwards</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Anal Fingering, Companion Bond Feelings, Love Confessions, M/M, Past Rape/Non-con, Rimming, mostly smut but they kept wanting to have emotions</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-03-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-03-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 06:41:09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>6,661</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23334202</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/alisonlynn/pseuds/alisonlynn</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Rune wants to start having penetrative sex with Addam, but is worried he'll panic in the middle. Brand helps him.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Rune Saint John/Addam Saint Nicholas, Rune Saint John/Brandon Saint John, Rune Saint John/Brandon Saint John/Addam Saint Nicholas, implied future</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>53</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Intermediate to Advanced Love</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Well guys, I can't believe this is my first finished fic in like ten years. Popping my AO3 cherry with this one. Thanks to the discord for cheerleading, and I maintain that this is entirely you guys' fault.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“- I just want to be able to give that to him,” Rune finished. </p>
<p>“You know Addam doesn’t fucking care that you don’t want to bottom, right Rune? I saw him stumbling out of that storage closet last week, with a stupid dopey grin on his face. Trust me, he has no fucking complaints about your sex life.” Brand punctuated this with a sip of beer. Sun Estate may not be renovated enough to live in yet, but at least now scavenging missions could include Brand, and end with a drink as the setting sun made the beach an endless, private oasis.  </p>
<p>“That’s the thing though. I <em>do</em> want to. I just don’t want to freeze up in the middle. You know Addam,” Rune said with a roll of his eyes, “If I have a panic attack while he’s inside me he won’t come near my ass for the next hundred years.”</p>
<p>“You severely underestimate the allure of your ass,” Brand said. He seemed to struggle with himself for a moment. “Look. I’m going to say something, and if you don’t want to, we are going to fucking forget this conversation ever fucking happened, we clear?” </p>
<p>Intrigued, Rune nodded. </p>
<p>Brand chewed his lip, trying to figure out how to word whatever it was he wanted to say. “You and I have the Companion bond.” </p>
<p>He was quiet for long enough that Rune said, “No, is that what this is?” </p>
<p>Brand sent him a dirty look. “I fucking <em>mean</em> that I would be able to tell if you were starting to freak out. And if you just needed a minute or if you needed to stop.” </p>
<p>Rune sat back in his beach chair. “Are you offering to sit in a corner and give Addam advice on how to fuck me?” </p>
<p>Brand’s eyes glazed over before he pulled himself back. “If that’s what you want, it wouldn’t exactly be a fucking hardship. But no, I was offering - I guess - a trial run?” </p>
<p>“A trial run.” </p>
<p>Rune felt Brand eyeing him without turning his head. “<em>If you want,</em>” he enunciated very deliberately, “I’d be willing to, you know, finger you for the greater fucking good.” He paused. “In this case, the greater good being you getting dicked down and being less of a pain in <em>my</em> ass.” </p>
<p>Rune wasn’t sure how he felt about that. On the one hand, hell yes he wanted to have sex with Brand, even if it was only once. On the other hand, he wasn’t sure he liked the sound of ‘the greater good’. On a third hand, he’d tried fingering himself and a glance at Brand’s strong, capable hands with their knife calluses made him shiver. On a fourth, very important hand - </p>
<p>“Are you just offering because you’re my Companion and you’re being all self sacrificing?” </p>
<p>There was something in Brand’s glare that Rune couldn’t define, but he could define the annoyance and disgust. “How many times have I complimented your ass? Touching it isn’t a <em>sacrifice</em>.” </p>
<p>“So… you <em>want</em> to finger me. To help me get used to it but also because you just want to finger me?” Rune asked. He could… maybe be on board with that. They were both getting something out of it. He wouldn’t be taking advantage of Brand. </p>
<p>This time Brand’s glare was more fond than anything else. “Yes, Rune. I also just want to finger you.” </p>
<p>“Oh. Well alright then.” </p>
<p>“Alright.” </p>
<p>“Good.” </p>
<p>“Great.” </p>
<p>Suddenly Rune felt not quite real. Were they really going to do this? </p>
<p>Brand must have caught something through the bond, because he sent Rune a sharp glance. “The offer stands if you want some time to fucking think about it. Maybe talk it over with Addam?” </p>
<p>Rune blushed, he knew he did, he really needed to get a better handle of his bodily reactions if he was going to be Arcana, but, “I can say with some certainty that Addam would be on board.” </p>
<p>Brand’s stare turned interested, but he didn’t ask, which Rune was grateful for. He wasn’t sure he wanted to talk about Addam’s Brand kink. <em>“He is a very attractive man, yes? You would look absolutely stunning together, Hero, perhaps one day we will invite him to join us. Would you like that? Oh, I see you would.” </em>That had been at the Enclave when Brand had emerged, dripping, from the sea to badger Quinn and Max about putting on sunscreen. They had left the kids in his care and found a supply closet, which, come to think of it, was probably where Brand had seen Addam’s ‘dopey grin’. </p>
<p>“Give me a minute,” Rune asked. Now that he knew it was a possibility, he wanted to do this <em>now</em>, but he was in entirely the wrong headspace. </p>
<p>Brand hummed and turned back to the ocean, watching the last of the sun’s rays set the waves on fire. His grip on his beer bottle was casual, but just a hint too tight to be natural. </p>
<p><em>Fuck, those hands</em>. If his favorite physical feature on Addam was his legs, on Brand it was his hands. Strong, broad, capable of field stripping a rifle in seconds, holding Rune’s guts in while he fumbled for a healing sigil, and dusting cinnamon over cookie dough. They had scarred knuckles from standing between him and a threat, and soft finger pads for holding Rune’s face while he inspected for damage. </p>
<p>If he was being honest though, just like with Addam, his favorite part of Brand was his heart. Neither of them could pinpoint the moment Brand had decided Rune was his boy, but that determination had never wavered. He argued with Brand sometimes, about putting himself first, but he knew that Brand took the damage because he loved Rune every bit as much as Rune loved him and couldn’t bear the thought of anything happening to him. Brand baked cookies when Rune was sad, and brownies when he was hurt (unless he’d gotten hurt by being stupid). He’d welcomed Max into his heart as soon as Rune did. Seeing him with Anna sometimes made Rune feel guilty about the 2.5 kids Brand was missing out on, until Brand had laughed in his face and reminded him that they had five kids so really he was doing twice as well. </p>
<p>And Addam. Brand had accepted Addam, taken a step back to let Addam have some of his space in Rune’s life, because he was good for Rune and Brand wanted that. </p>
<p>His heart was big enough for their entire court, but Rune knew he would always get the biggest share. </p>
<p>Ok, he was in the right headspace now. </p>
<p>“My room?” he asked, a little shakily. His old room hadn’t been as bad as other parts of the Estate, so they used it as a base of operations when they were working there. The master suite had taken a lot of damage, and Rune didn’t have the capacity to even think about what had happened in it, let alone start the repairs. </p>
<p>“Now?” Brand said, his fingers spasming around the neck of his beer bottle. A spark of lust ran through Rune, along with the image of those fingers wrapped around something else. <em>That isn’t what this is about</em>, he reminded himself. </p>
<p>“Now,” he confirmed, because yeah. Now. </p>
<p>Brand, strong, confident Brand, who stepped into firefights and BDSM bars without a twitch of anxiety, didn’t seem to know what to do once they were in Rune’s room. Rune tapped his fingernails lightly on the desk as he walked by, a pitter-pat that he hoped didn’t betray his nerves as much as he thought it did. </p>
<p>Brand stopped in his tracks. Shit, it did. </p>
<p>“We don’t have to do this,” he said, and folded his arms across his chest, which was the worst thing he could have done because it made his biceps bulge <em>to great effect</em>. </p>
<p>“We really, really do,” Rune muttered. </p>
<p>Brand’s gaze was assessing. “I’m gonna, uh, open the bond up all the way. You ready?” </p>
<p>The whole point of this was that he couldn’t hide anything from Brand. Being attracted to him was expected. Everyone was attracted to Brand, Rune thought, it wouldn’t be a neon sign declaring ‘I’ve been in love with you for three decades’. He nodded to himself, then nodded to Brand, and opened himself up. </p>
<p>The thing about the Companion bond was that most of the time, it was inert. It hummed quietly in the back of Rune’s head, a spot of warmth that told him Brand was there, with him, even when he physically wasn’t. Rune didn’t think he could fall asleep anymore without the soft whisper of Brand’s dreams, and the pings of random emotions as Brand went about his training and planning were as much a part of him as his nose and ears, a vital sense. They opened it up a little more when there was danger, so Brand could tell if Rune was hurt, panicking, or about to do something stupid. It let them synchronize their attacks and always know where the other was positioned. </p>
<p>These days, they had few secrets from each other, and few reasons to close the bond. Brand did it sometimes ‘for practice’ and it was just good manners to close it while masterbating, or when Rune was in bed with Addam. Brand locked it down when he went to the Green Docks, and Rune kept it in a tight grip when he visited the apartment in LeperCon. </p>
<p>It was always there, as natural as a heartbeat, growing in strength over recent years, but they rarely used it to its full potential. It was at its full potential now, and Rune lost his breath at the force of it. </p>
<p>It was <em>Brand</em>. Every inch of him was Brand and he couldn’t tell if Brand was inside his skin or if he was inside Brand’s skin, but his nerve endings, already itchy with need, were set alight by the warm wash of Brand’s arousal. </p>
<p>The hand on the desk was suddenly instrumental in keeping him upright, and he hoped whatever noise he made was lost in the waves of <em>feeling</em> between them, because it was almost certainly embarrassing. His head tipped back. His eyes were closed but he didn’t remember closing them. </p>
<p>“<em>Fuck</em>,” Brand said. “I’m gonna kiss you now. Tell me I can fucking kiss you right now.” </p>
<p>It was said in Brand’s command voice, but it wasn’t a command, it was a <em>plea</em>, because Rune was inside Brand and he knew Brand wanted this as much as he did. There was only one response. “Yes, <em>fuck</em>, yes.” </p>
<p>Between one moment and the next, he was in Brand’s head, and then he was in Brand’s arms. One of Brand’s hands cupped the back of his head, supporting the weakness in his neck as Brand always supported him, and the other clutched hotly at the small of his back. </p>
<p>He felt Brand’s five-o-clock shadow before he felt his lips, a moment of indrawn breath and taut stillness as their chins brushed, and then Brand took his bottom lip into his mouth like it was holy communion. </p>
<p>Rune had been kissed before. A lot, even. Geoffrey, two other scions when they were young, Brand when they were thirteen. Even with two decades of rustiness, Addam had never complained, and Addam was a truly phenomenal kisser. Rune knew kissing. He<em> liked</em> kissing. But this was a <em>kiss</em>. He wondered distantly what kissing Addam would feel like, if he was right and they developed a talla bond someday, but then he wasn’t wondering anything. </p>
<p>Finally Brand pulled back. “We were... we were going to…” </p>
<p>“Right,” Rune said, opening his eyes and sucking in a much needed breath. “Fingering.” One side of his mouth tilted up, a little wobbly. “I thought you said my ass had ‘allure’?” </p>
<p>Brand blinked once, then his kiss swollen lips fell open slightly. “Oh, it is on.” </p>
<p>For a moment Rune thought he was going to be tossed onto the mattress and he balked, but instead Brand shuffled forward, using his body to gently nudge Rune backward. Rune moved with him like they were dancing. Every step set off a flare in his mind the moment before it was translated into motion, letting them move almost in sync. Rune was surprised when the back of his knees hit the bed, and he fell backwards with a grunt. </p>
<p>Or he would have, except Brand must have felt him going down, because suddenly there were arms around his shoulders, holding his top half suspended over the bed. “I’ve got you,” Brand said quietly, lowering him down until the old quilt, slightly moth eaten but found tucked safely into a trunk, cradled him. </p>
<p>Rune felt small. He didn’t know how else to describe it. It wasn’t vulnerable, exactly, or young, and it certainly wasn’t afraid, but even though he and Brand were the same height and Brand was only a little broader in the chest, he suddenly felt like Brand was a larger-than-life statue in a cathedral, and he a lowly supplicant. </p>
<p>Then Brand flipped the script. He sank to his knees at the edge of the bed and took one of Rune’s feet, still clad in its custom made boot, into his hand. Rune could feel the heat of his skin even through the leather. </p>
<p>“Can I undress you?” he asked, and his voice sounded the way it had when he’d said <em>I’ve got you</em>, soft and dark like the finest of chocolates, the kind Rune only got when Addam smuggled them in. </p>
<p>Rune wasn’t sure he could speak. A swallow confirmed there was nothing constricting his throat, but he nodded instead, pushing up onto his elbows so he could see Brand’s face, obscured just a little by the fall of his hair. </p>
<p>“Rule number one,” Brand said, still holding his foot as if it were glass. “Just because I can feel you doesn’t mean you can get sloppy on the consent. You vocalize. Tell me what you like or don’t like. Answer when I ask you a fucking question.” The tone of his voice took all the sting out of the words. </p>
<p>“But -” Rune had to cough to clear his throat after all, “you <em>can</em> feel me. Why bother?” </p>
<p>“Addam can’t,” Brand said. “And it’s good fucking practice, anyway. We good?” </p>
<p>Oh right, that’s what this was about. It wasn’t as if Rune had <em>forgotten </em>Addam, he had just forgotten that there was a point to this besides drowning in Brand. “Yes,” he said. </p>
<p>“So can I. Take off. Your clothes?” Brand asked with exaggerated patience. His voice hitched at the end, betraying that he wasn’t as steady as the even pulse of the bond might lead Rune to believe. </p>
<p>Rune flopped back onto the bed. He waved a hand imperiously. “You’ve made a lot of promises, time to see if you can deliver.” </p>
<p>Brand growled, and the removal of the first boot and its subsequent toss across the room were not as gentle as his earlier touches. When he pulled off the second boot, he took a moment to trace the jut of the bone, to press a thumb to the arch, to slip his fingers up under the cuff of Rune’s jeans as if the brush of ankle was a taste before the full meal. </p>
<p><em>It is,</em> Rune realized, feeling the echo of heat along the bond. <em>He likes undressing me</em>. </p>
<p>“Of course I fucking like it,” Brand muttered, sliding his palms up Rune’s thighs. “Look at all this skin that’s not fucking scarred or burned or blown off because I’m good at my fucking job.” </p>
<p>“I’m your greatest masterpiece, huh,” Rune said dryly, helped along by all the moisture in his mouth mysteriously vanishing. </p>
<p>“You fucking know it.” He undid the clasp and zipper of Rune’s jeans slowly, careful not to catch anything in the teeth. It was a challenge, because Rune was - well, he’d probably been harder. At some point. None that immediately sprang to mind. But statistically it had probably happened. “Lift up.” Rune lifted his hips, and oh, that was a sight. Brand kneeling between his spread legs, framed by his raised knees and face partially covered by the bulge of Rune’s cock, which gratefully stretched his boxers more than it had been able to stretch his jeans. </p>
<p>Brand swallowed, his hands digging in just a little more forcefully as he drew Rune’s pants down past the sigil tied to his thigh and off his legs. “Shirt on or off?” he asked. </p>
<p>“Um,” Rune had to clear his throat again. “On,” he decided. He didn’t need to be bare chested in order to be fingered, and being entirely nude was still a bit of a trial for him. Brand’s regret through the bond was tempered with his understanding and satisfaction at the honest answer. </p>
<p>“Good, okay. Do you want me to get undressed?” Brand’s pants looked too tight to be comfortable, but he asked with no censure. He would stay that way until Rune told him he could take them off without a single complaint. </p>
<p>Luckily, keeping them on wasn’t what Rune wanted. Technically Brand didn’t need to be naked for this, but Rune wasn’t going to pass up the opportunity to see him all at once. They’d been naked together before, of course, but never anywhere that Rune could <em>look</em>. “Take it off, baby, take it all off,” he joked. The bond sparked on ‘baby’ which was something he filed away for later contemplation. </p>
<p>“I am not doing a striptease,” Brand said, yanking his shirt over his head and standing to better get at his pants. Rune didn’t need a striptease though, the immediate gratification of watching all that muscle and skin be revealed at once made his fingers spasm in the sheets. Then Brand’s underwear came off, and… </p>
<p>“Uh, just fingering, right?” Rune said, voice a little raspy. </p>
<p>Brand’s mouth tilted up, smugness filtering through the bond. “Just fingering,” he reassured. “This bad boy is for intermediate to advanced asses only.” </p>
<p>“Never call your dick a ‘bad boy’ again.” </p>
<p>“Not gonna argue that your ass is a beginner?” Brand said, leaning back and pushing his hips forward a little. </p>
<p>“Not after I’ve seen that. Fuck, Brand, where do you keep it?” Rune could swear this was not the first time he’d seen Brand’s cock, though admittedly it hadn’t been erect then, and he thought he’d remember it being this thick. </p>
<p>He felt… odd about it. Aesthetically, it was a very nice dick, and Atlanteans were famously size queens. Still, the thought of putting it anywhere sensitive didn’t necessarily fill him with desire. On the other hand, it was Brand’s dick, and that made it fucking perfect. </p>
<p>Besides, he didn’t need to worry about it. Brand’s hands would be the instruments of tonight’s performance, and he very much wanted them to join the show. </p>
<p>“In my pants,” Brand deadpanned. “Maybe you and Saint Nicholas should try that one of these days.” </p>
<p>Rune raised his eyebrows. “I’ve seen you giving him the once over, don’t act like you don’t enjoy his lack of modesty.” </p>
<p>Brand grinned. “Never said I didn’t. Quinn, on the other hand…” </p>
<p>Rune groaned. “Don’t bring up any of our children with your dick out.” The bond sparked again, on ‘our’, and the easy playfulness turned sweet, soft, and achingly hot. </p>
<p>“You ready?” Brand asked, planting one knee on the bed, and it was so fond and gentle and <em>Brand</em> that Rune really, really was. </p>
<p>He nodded before remembering the rule and said, “Yeah. You?” </p>
<p>Brand grinned. “Oh, yeah.” He tugged Rune’s underwear down slowly and hissed in a breath when Rune’s erection snagged free and bounced against his shirt. When it was off, he poked and prodded until Rune lay on his back, knees up and feet planted. </p>
<p> “<em>Fuck</em>,” he said, reverently. “Can I rim you? It’s not what we agreed, but-” </p>
<p>Rune bit back a moan. Suddenly the bond was nothing but need, from both ends. “You can, yes, please-” </p>
<p>Rune thought the sound Brand made might have been a whimper, but he didn’t get long to think about it because Brand cupped his hands around Rune’s ass, one cheek in each hand. </p>
<p>Rune only had a second to think <em>NO</em> before Brand’s hands were gone, resting instead on his calves, warm and grounding. “Knowing that you don’t like having your ass grabbed is useful information,” he offered, and it was only because the bond was open so wide that Rune could feel his quickly suppressed spark of guilt. </p>
<p>“Maybe my hips?” Rune said. His arousal was gone, but thinking about that sound Brand had just made sent it roaring back. </p>
<p>Brand hummed thoughtfully, then nudged between Rune’s thighs, ducking so his shoulders were under Rune’s legs. He lifted, then put one hand on the small of Rune’s back, between his hips, to support him. His other hand found purchase on the back of Rune’s thigh, close to the knee, and they both waited, short breaths barely stirring the air. When there was no discomfort, Brand used that hand to push Rune’s leg toward his chest, just enough to allow access to his hole. Rune swallowed, hard, but he could feel Brand’s breath on his inner thighs and all he felt was <em>want</em>. </p>
<p>Then Brand leaned forward, and the vibrations of a breathy moan accompanied the scratch of his stubble against his ass. Rune shoved a fist into his mouth and bit down. </p>
<p>“<em>Rune</em>,” Brand sighed. “You’re so <em>warm</em>.” Rune didn’t know if he meant the bond, which was tight with anticipation, or the way his thighs clenched around Brand’s ears, or the heat of his <em>actual ass</em>, but honestly it didn’t matter because that’s when Brand stuck out his tongue and licked. </p>
<p>It wasn’t a sensation Rune had imagined before, and it wasn’t one he thought he could describe. It was just a lot. A lot of good, he thought, after he’d come back to himself enough to have sensible thoughts. <em>It’s just a tongue, </em>he thought wildly, <em>I’ve had a tongue on my dick, why is this so much more than that?</em> Not that the tongue on his dick hadn’t blown his mind, but this was intense in a different way. </p>
<p>It was wetter than he expected, more sloppy, everything slick with spit. Brand must have lube stashed somewhere, but Rune was starting to wonder if they’d even need it. Brand moaned, and both the vibrations and the knowledge of how much Brand was enjoying this made Rune’s thighs tremble with need. </p>
<p>“Brand,” he gasped, “Fuck, that’s so - it’s really -”</p>
<p>Brand pulled back far enough to ask, voice rough and smug, “Do you like it?” </p>
<p>The sight of Brand, pupils blown wide, eyes hooded, lips swollen, chin dripping, made Rune lose all semblance of rationality. He groaned, eyes locked with Brand’s, and kicked his heel into Brand’s back, hoping to make him start up again. </p>
<p>Brand grunted with the impact, then laughed. “I’m gonna need you to use your words,” he teased. </p>
<p>“I’m gonna need you to put your mouth back where it was,” Rune demanded. </p>
<p>Brand gave him one more long lick, all the way up to the back of his balls, then laid him back down regretfully. Rune’s back hurt a little from holding that position, but it was so worth it. “Nah,” Brand said, “You’re too close, and we haven’t gotten to the main event yet. Plus, I can tell your trick shoulder is bothering you, idiot, you should have said something.” </p>
<p>Did his shoulder hurt? It hurt so much of the time these days that he hardly noticed. Brand had taken to ambushing him with massage oil every so often, sometimes dragging Addam along to teach him the basics. Addam also liked to end difficult days with pushing Rune into bed for a shoulder massage, but Addam could be distracted with sex and Brand had a one-track mind. Rune supposed he should be grateful that that one-track was pointed towards his well-being, but sometimes he had things to do that didn’t involve muscle pain. Like getting eaten out. </p>
<p>“My shoulder is fine,” he tried, then, “I’ll let you fix it after.” </p>
<p>Brand turned back from where he was digging in one of his numerous pockets to raise his eyebrows. “Oh, you’re already going to fucking <em>let</em> me work on it later, make no mistake about that. Now do you want to come with my fingers up your ass or not?” </p>
<p>Well, when he put it like that. </p>
<p>Brand pulled a tube of something out of one of his pockets, squinted at it, and put it back. It looked like eczema cream, so Rune wisely left it alone. The next thing he found was a small bottle with the familiar colors of his favorite massage oil - Brand set it on the nightstand for later. Finally he grinned and fished out a tube that wasn’t familiar to Rune. Brand must use a different type of lube than he did. </p>
<p>“Self-warming,” he said, pleased with himself. </p>
<p>“I am literally the Sun,” Rune replied, just to see Brand’s dirty look. </p>
<p>“No one likes having a cold finger up their ass, <em>Rune</em>,” Brand replied, tossing the bottle so it bounced off Rune’s stomach, where his t-shirt had rucked up, and the lube may have been self warming but the bottle wasn’t. Rune caught Brand giving his stomach an interested look when his muscles jumped. </p>
<p>Rune grunted as the mattress jumped, Brand having flopped back down between his legs with more force than was necessary. </p>
<p>“It’d be easier if you were on your stomach,” he grumbled, trying to puzzle out access without gripping anything that might trigger Rune. </p>
<p>“You just want a better view of my ass,” Rune said. </p>
<p>Brand shot a glance up Rune’s body, first to meet his eyes with an irritated huff, then to drag down over the jut of his collarbones, the drape of his shirt, the bit of softness in his exposed belly, and finally to the deep red of his dick, which seemed to have realized it might finally get touched by someone other than Rune and was putting two decades of disappointment into its strain upwards. </p>
<p>“The view is plenty good from right here,” Brand said, and it was softer than he expected. When Brand met his eyes again, they too were soft. </p>
<p>Rune swallowed against the lump in his throat and pulled one knee up to his chest, using it to knock Brand affectionately on the side of the head on its way. “How’s that?” he asked. </p>
<p>“Even better,” Brand said, and this time the softness was replaced by the scrape of words over a dry throat. </p>
<p>He was grateful they’d started with Brand’s tongue, because even with the passion cooled down to a low simmer, Brand’s fingers didn’t feel as intimidating as his beard scruff. Rune knew those fingers, he’d thought, as intimately as he knew his own. If asked, and magically provided with artistic skill, he could draw every wrinkle around the knuckles, every line in the palms. He knew Brand kept the nails clipped meticulously short, just enough left above the nail bed to be makeshift claws if enough pressure was applied. Brand left a little extra length on the thumb nails, because he liked picking the labels off of beer bottles. He knew them, and yet, when Brand gripped his upper thigh with one hand for leverage, and circled his hole with one slick finger, they felt as exotic and exciting as anything he’d ever experienced. </p>
<p>Rune let his mouth fall open slightly while Brand let him adjust to the intrusion. It did feel like an intrusion, but not as much of one as he had expected. Brand was a part of him, his body an extension of his own body. With their minds as entangled as their limbs, that finger was just one of many ways Brand was inside him. </p>
<p>Then Brand pushed in farther. “Oh,” Rune gasped. He’d never been able to get that sort of leverage on his own, he’d never had a finger get that deep. Despite what had happened to him, he felt like those familiar knuckle wrinkles were touching places that had never been touched before. Perhaps, in a way, they were. Certainly his attackers hadn’t watched his face with such burning focus, determined to catch the slightest trace of discomfort. Certainly they hadn’t stroked his thigh so gently with their thumbs, calluses catching on his skin and sending a line of pleasure straight to his brain. Certainly they hadn’t turned their heads to press a kiss to his upright knee, ragged exhale puffing against his skin. </p>
<p>No, that act was as far from this one as it was possible to be. </p>
<p>“Move,” Rune breathed. “Please, move.” </p>
<p>Brand hid his grin, but Rune could feel his lips tug upwards from where his mouth was still pressed to his knee. He twisted the finger and it punched a noise out of Rune as surely as if he’d hit a button. </p>
<p>When his eyes found Brand’s again, Brand was biting his lip. “I didn’t expect the bond to transmit sensations so strongly,” he admitted. </p>
<p>“You could feel that?” Rune asked, and he wasn’t sure if it was the finger or the thought that made him so breathless. </p>
<p>“Not exactly,” he said, and pulled the finger out an inch before pressing it back in. “Maybe if we practiced. But I can feel the -” He paused to twist the finger around some more. “- the pleasure. I was distracted earlier, I fucking love giving oral, but I think I could feel it even then.” </p>
<p>“Fuck,” Rune breathed. “We should practice.” </p>
<p>Brand shot him a glance he couldn’t decipher, then said, “You can’t offer things like that to me.” </p>
<p>Rune opened his mouth to ask him what he meant, but Brand curled his finger and Rune screamed instead. “What the fuck was that?!” he gasped when he could think again. </p>
<p>Brand’s smile was smug. “‘That’ is about to be my favorite new toy.” </p>
<p>“No complaints here,” Rune said, as Brand rubbed the pad of his finger over his prostate. </p>
<p>“You’re not going to complain about something? It’s a fucking miracle,” Brand said, and Rune was about to complain about the way Brand’s finger had stopped moving when he slid a second one in beside the first. He moaned low in his throat. </p>
<p>“You’re really tight,” Brand breathed. “I can feel it in the bond as much as in my fingers.” </p>
<p>Rune said something in response but he didn’t think it made any sense, and he forgot what it was a second later when Brand twisted his fingers. The twisting of two fingers inside one’s ass was apparently different enough from the twisting of one finger that it surprised another scream out of him. </p>
<p>“You’re so sensitive,” Brand said, starting a twisting, grinding motion that Rune could tell strained his wrist but felt <em>incredible</em>. “It’s a fucking tragedy that they took the enjoyment of this from you.” There was a hitch in the motion, then it stopped entirely, though he didn’t pull his fingers out. “Shit, I shouldn’t have said that, do you want to stop?” </p>
<p>“No,” Rune said, and it was only when he tried to speak that he realised how tight his throat was. He wasn’t sure what he was feeling, but whatever it was had Brand reacting with waves of guilt and concern. “I-” He swallowed a lump in his throat. “You’re right. They fucking took this from me. But you’re giving it back. You’re giving it back to me, Brand.” For a moment the bond felt like the deep pressure of the ocean around a human heart, then Brand pulled himself together. </p>
<p>“I want to give you everything, Rune.” </p>
<p>At least, that was what Rune thought he said. It was so quiet, pressed into his kneecap, and nearly lost in the slow drag of those two fingers pressing as deep as they could go, then spreading apart slightly as they were pulled back out. </p>
<p>Rune thought maybe he lost time. Everything was sensation, and everything was <em>Brand</em>. Fingers pushed in, forcing cries from his throat, then pulled out, dragging moans from his chest. However much of what he was feeling was getting through to Brand, it made Brand’s breathing ragged, brushes across his prostate sending gasps into the ankle of the leg Rune was holding to his chest. </p>
<p>“Brand,” he managed, “I’m close. I’m really close.”</p>
<p>“Me too,” Brand said, voice tight. </p>
<p>“Please don’t stop.” </p>
<p>“I won’t. I won’t stop.” </p>
<p>He didn’t. His movements got jerkier, and the hand pressing into Rune’s thigh dropped somewhere out of his view. Rune wanted to watch him stroke himself, but he wanted the pressure and friction inside of him even more. Brand put more power behind his thrusts, each one pushing a cry from Rune. </p>
<p>“That’s, yes, Brand, yes!” Rune growled. </p>
<p>Brand leaned over, wrapped his mouth around Rune’s knee, and bit. </p>
<p>The jolt of pain sent Rune over the edge. He screamed, so loud and hard that he could distantly feel one of the benevolent ghosts flee to the edge of his awareness. Maybe it was right to do so. His orgasm felt like it washed him clean, exorcising all the ghosts left inside him. </p>
<p>“Rune,” Brand groaned around his mouthful, stretching the word like a lifeline. Rune felt his pleasure spike through the bond, and the warm jet of liquid hitting the side of his calf. </p>
<p>They didn’t move, catching their breaths. Brand didn’t need to ask if it had been good, if Rune had liked it. The bond told him exactly how good it had been. </p>
<p>Finally Brand got off the bed, only a little bit wobbly, and fished a packet of wipes out of one of his pockets. Once Rune was clean and tucked under the quilt, Brand threw the used wipe to the floor and crawled in and flopped on his back next to him. </p>
<p>“I can’t believe you fucking came without being touched,” he said, gleeful. </p>
<p>“You touched me plenty,” Rune replied, but he wasn’t focused on what Brand was saying. He’d felt something in the bond, near the end, and he should know what it was but he didn’t. Something important. Something he would regret if he didn’t act on it now. Something… </p>
<p>“Not your dick,” Brand crowed. “Shit, why didn’t I touch your dick? It’s not as nice as your ass, but it’s pretty fucking nice.” </p>
<p>“You’re in love with me,” Rune said, his mouth one second ahead of his brain. </p>
<p>Brand flinched. “What, just because I like your dick?” It was barely a rebuttal. Most of Brand's attention was on slamming the bond closed, but Rune knew what he’d felt from him. It was the same thing he felt from his own heart. </p>
<p>He twisted to face Brand. “Hey, don’t do that. Open the bond back up.” He mentally prodded at it at the same time he lifted a hand to cup Brand’s cheek. </p>
<p>“Why? We’re done with it,” Brand said, but he didn’t pull away. </p>
<p>Rune swallowed hard. What if he’d misunderstood? What if what he’d thought was coming from Brand was just his own emotions? There were <em>reasons</em> he’d never told Brand how he felt, damnit. But if there was a chance… </p>
<p>“I don’t think we are,” he said, quietly, barely stirring the air between them. “I think there’s something you need to feel from me.” </p>
<p>Brand rolled so he was facing Rune as well. His eyes, oceans of forget-me-not blue, bored into Rune’s. Finally he nodded. </p>
<p>This time the bond opened slowly, but it wasn’t any less of a miracle. Rune sighed in relief, leaning into it. He’d missed it, even in the short time it had been closed. </p>
<p>“What did you want to show me?” Brand asked, just as quiet. </p>
<p>Rune wasn’t sure how to do this, they’d never practiced pushing emotions across the bond, only hiding them and interpreting what filtered through. He found the ember inside of him that was his love for Brand, forever burning in the very center of his heart. He thought about Brand, using his memories to nurse the coal into a full flame. He pressed all that heat towards the bond. </p>
<p>Brand, laughing while they sparred. Brand, growling at some bully, standing like an oak in front of him. Brand, wearing that stupid ‘Kiss the Cook’ apron Addam had given him, ‘Don’t’ written in sharpie above the words. Brand, squeezed next to him in the blanket fort they’d made in their bedroom, their pinkies linked as they promised to be together forever. Brand, back to back with him in any of a million fights, protecting and trusting Rune to protect him in return. </p>
<p>“I don’t understand,” Brand whispered. </p>
<p>Rune met his eyes. “Don’t you?” </p>
<p>Brand’s throat worked. “You - are you saying you - feel the same?” </p>
<p>Yes. The answer was yes. But how could he say it in a way that communicated three decades of love, of Brand as the center around which his universe turned, of devotion and desire, of affection and loyalty? Of every kind of love one person could feel for another, that of family, of friends, and of lovers? Of the domesticity of curling together on the couch, of the need for closeness, of the need to never let Brand out of his sight for fear something might happen to him? Of a trust deeper than his bones and a fondness broader than the sky? Of a wanting that sprung up like weeds in their garden of a life, returning no matter how many times he ripped it out? </p>
<p>“I love you. I’m in love with you. You’re…. How could you not know what you mean to me?” It was insufficient. It barely scratched the surface. It would have to do. </p>
<p>A tear rolled from Brand’s eye. He tilted his head to let the pillowcase suck it off his skin. “But-” he gasped, “What about Addam?” </p>
<p>“I love him too. We’re a culture that believes in sharing our love. He’s always known what you are to me.” In fact, Addam had been making casual comments in recent months about trying something with Brand, about luring him into their bed in the hopes that he would choose to stay. Addam may not have a lifetime of Brand at his side, but Brand was very easy to fall for. </p>
<p>Another tear fell to the pillow. “You never said anything.” </p>
<p>“I kissed you when we were thirteen. You pushed me into the pool.” </p>
<p>“You were drunk!” Brand said. Then, “You felt this way when we were thirteen?” </p>
<p>“Before that. After that. I never stopped.” </p>
<p>Brand caught his breath. “Not even-?” </p>
<p>“Not even.” Rune took in a shuddering gasp of air. “Are you - um. You don’t have to say it back, of course, but-” </p>
<p>Brand surged forward and kissed him. The bond sung at the touch, and Rune’s body, spent as it was, harmonized with it. “I love you too,” he said against Rune’s mouth. “How could you doubt - <em>Rune</em>.” </p>
<p>The next tear to hit the pillow was Rune’s. Brand pulled back and wiped Rune’s face with his thumb. </p>
<p>“Have we really wasted two fucking decades?” he asked. </p>
<p>Rune choked on a laugh. “Not wasted. Never wasted.” </p>
<p>Brand narrowed his eyes at him. “But if the next two decades include getting to touch you on the regular…”</p>
<p>“Then they’ll be even better.” </p>
<p>Brand kissed him again, this time slow and syrupy, like a hot summer’s day with nothing to do. When he pulled back, Rune smirked. </p>
<p>“Addam’s birthday is coming up. You think if we didn’t tell him until then, we could tie a ribbon around your dick and call it his birthday present?” </p>
<p>Brand laughed. “Hell no. We’re telling him tonight, and he’ll take his birthday blowjob and/or spanking and he’ll like it.” </p>
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